Saturday, June 18, 2011

Here’s your update.

Actually, we’re getting pretty close, huh?  The little timer thing here on Reopened says three days to go as I’m typing this, and actually, that could use its own update.  Lisa’s due date was pulled back from Wednesday the 22nd to Tuesday the 21st.  Then it turned out the hospital was booked solid (no room at the inn) for all of Tuesday, so now we’re slated for Monday.  Yup.  Day after tomorrow.  A dad for the third time.  Family’s expanding by 25%.  This Monday.  Right around the corner.

 And, of course, I say this in an effort to explain the pool of sweat and urine in which I’m sitting.  Humina.

Aside from all that mental and emotional preparation “the experts” say you need, I think we’re in pretty good shape.  The bag is packed, mostly.  The nursery is ready, pending a fresh coat of paint if baby #3 is a boy.  Lisa has been going gangbusters getting all the Baby Stuff ready.  Bottles, clothes, toys, various things in which to sit.  For those of you who have not yet gone through the whole parenthood thing, you will be AMAZED by all the Baby Stuff a baby has.  Honestly, Baby #3 isn’t even born yet and his/her Stuff already eclipses mine by at least a truckload-full.

We even got one father’s day present out of the way, just in case the baby comes a little early.  Lisa got me a new charger for my power drill.  This one is fancy, and, apparently, intelligent.

What does a power drill battery charger need to evaluate, you ask?  I’m not entirely sure.  That light hasn’t come on yet, thankfully.  Maybe I should present it with different issues and see if it reacts to anything. Hang on.

Okay, I’m back.  It did not attempt to evaluate a jug of milk, a hammer, my foot, a handshake, my rendition of “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” or a Barbie.  Maybe it’s more intellectual.  “Hang on, now, partner, lemme just think about this whole capital tax gains issue for a second before I git to charging your power drill battery.”  I’m not sure why my charger has a country/western accent in my mind.

So, yeah, this post has been fun.  Thanks for letting me riff for a few minutes while that timer continues to tick away, telling me when my baby will be, like, a day old.  Stupid timer.  You better get with the program or you will be evaluated by my new power drill battery charger.

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